August 29, 2006 #2What can you do?

Now that I'm feeling a little better I was thinking over the last month about what has been happening and how I might of done a better job of getting over the bumps in the road.

One thing that I realized is that it really is hard asking people for help. You want to stay so independant for as long as you can and it's was a real issue for me to let go and let others run the show for a while.

So where do you draw that line? How do you keep that independance and yet get the true help that you need and that people what to give to you? It's easy for people to come and spend time with you but how does that time go by? Do we both, me and the visitor, make the best use of that time in a way that makes both of us feel a sense of accomplishment and worthiness? To often, through pride, I think I found the time spent was just "passing" the time away.

What would be nice in the future, during these times that can be so hard? I think, for me, what I missed over the last month was time that would be given to me as a woman, time for a manicure, a massage, aroma therapy. Heck, even just shaving my legs. All those things would of been so nice and would of made me feel a part of living. Some thoughts for days down the road, for the darker times. Thanks to you who have asked what they could do.

And then there were all the wonderful things people did do!

Stopping in with a muffin was such a nice jesture, even when I couldn't throughly enjoyed it, it was wonderful. I worried about Michael not eating, bringing him a meal or two made my day. Thank you for all of you that did those things for me. It helped so much.

Running out to get me a special tea, buying me that crochet hook I so desperately needed right that minute, or taking the time to find a small treat, like running all over town looking for those fresh peas that I was craving. Friends, what a great thing to have!

Coming to just bring me a smile meant a lot to me. Thank you so much, everyone!

The short phone calls, knowing it was hard for me to talk, you still let me know you were there and understood. I thank you for that.

Thank you for helping us get this place in order, for helping Michael to make this our home and not just a house! The tree looks great Dad! :-) and we will cherise our lylic tree always.

So, remember, next time, I hope that I can accept your help and kindness in a much better spirit. This go around was hard to let go, to let others do. I'll try to be more accepting of it in the future. Just know that it meant the world to me even so!!