Edwards, Penny-Lee Amanda
(September, 29 1957 – October, 24 2006)
On the morning of October 24, Penny was called home to live in the house of her Lord.
She passed away very gently and peacefully, in her sleep and in the arms of her husband Michael, after living well in spite of cancer. She is also survived by, and will always be lovingly remembered by her parents Peter and Patricia Guzak, her maternal grandmother Elna Amanda Sparks, sisters and their spouses Pamela with Stanley Hicks, Patricia Guzak, Paula with Dennis Kreba. Her daughters Petra with Robert Valica, Tanya with Jesse Sichkaryk and granddaughters Kylie and Neressa, and her son Peter with Julie Lamanes.
She had a special place in the hearts of, and will be missed by her stepchildren as well. Christopher and Amanda Eveland, Jeffrey and Sarah Eveland, Sean McMahon, and five more grandchildren. Connor, Hannah, Nicolas, Vincent and Alexis.
Penny was born, raised and lived in Edmonton and area all her life to a family that settled in Western Canada at the turn of the last century, and has grown to a large extended family. To all of you that watched her grow up, and that grew up with her. Thank you for the memories.
Penny’s best friends, Fran Robinson, Pam Handley and Lori Neeves have never met, but they all felt Penny was their sister. The special friends Penny made during her struggle with this disease, Gloria, Annie and Adi will miss you until they see you again.
Our dear sweet Penny. You were a role model to so many of us in so many different ways. You will always be with us in spirit, and an inspiration to do the right thing. You showed us how to deal with the tough things in life, like cancer, how to live fully and graciously in spite of it. You reminded us to be grateful for and share what we have, and not to be to hard on ourselves or regret our actions because we did the best we could at that time. You touched a lot of people with your efforts to fight back at the disease called cancer with your website Pennies for Cancer, and left a legacy that can only help others.
You showed us in so many ways what love is, and we are going to share that with everyone who joins together with us next week in remembering your life, and saying farewell. Family and friends are invited to attend a service in celebration of Penny’s life at Millwoods Community Church, 2304-38 Street, Edmonton Alberta on Saturday, November 4, 2006 at 1 PM.
The family would like to extend a very warm and special thank you to the staff on the Palliative Care Unit at Grey Nun’s Hospital in Edmonton. You deserve to have the initials TLC added to the sign that welcomes people to your floor. If they take the hot tub out during the renovations beginning there today, call us. We will do what whatever it takes to get you a new one.
Condolences may be sent to the family at http://serenity.ca/condolences.htm, and in lieu of flowers please consider a memorial donation to the Cross Cancer Institute, Grey Nun’s Hospital, Pennies for Cancer .com or a charity of your choice.
Wednesday, October 25, 2006
A Celebration of Life
Wednesday, October 25, 2006
Services will be held next week at the following location. In lieu of flowers, memorial donations to the Cross Cancer Institute, Grey Nun’s Hospital, Pennies for Cancer.com or a charity of your choice.
Condolences to the family may be sent to http://serenity.ca/condolences.htm
Celebration of Life
Penny-Lee Amanda Edwards
Saturday, November 4, 2006.
1:00 PM,
Millwoods Community Church
2304-38 Street
Edmonton, Alberta.
Services will be held next week at the following location. In lieu of flowers, memorial donations to the Cross Cancer Institute, Grey Nun’s Hospital, Pennies for Cancer.com or a charity of your choice.
Condolences to the family may be sent to http://serenity.ca/condolences.htm
Celebration of Life
Penny-Lee Amanda Edwards
Saturday, November 4, 2006.
1:00 PM,
Millwoods Community Church
2304-38 Street
Edmonton, Alberta.
Tuesday, October 24, 2006
Monday, October 23, 2006
Monday, October 23, 2006
6 AM
Sat down to write this morning and I can’t remember much about Saturday other than Tanya spent the afternoon with us. A doctor came in for an hour or so to chat with Penny and Tanya and I, and Penny made some unusual observations about how she perceived things now. Where she is, where she is going.
I doubt that either of us will ever forget it.
Sunday was a very quiet day and the past couple of nights have been easy on Penny.
I read some of the comments and emails this morning, and thought I might respond to a couple of things.
Penny’s bed, for starters, is a computerized air bed that frequently re-adjusts automatically. I don’t think they have anything better than this. We purchased a dense foam topper like the one Penny had at home for the bed, and that seemed to help a lot. There is nothing else we could possibly do to make it more comfortable for her other than to just get her out of the damn thing once in a while. But she can’t.
And yes, typing this blog for her was very difficult at first. I have not been to work for 2 or 3 weeks now though, and have been living in the hospital room with Penny for the past month. So I did have a lot of time on my hands. I have a cot that I push up against her bed and sleep half on cot, half on Penny’s bed most of the time. The laptop has web access on the phone line in her room, so I can sit here beside her while I am typing this. Having her here beside me while I am typing makes it a lot easier.
It seems lately that Penny has been losing something on a daily basis. Her ability to get out of bed, her vision, the hot tub. Yesterday it was her IV, but with some difficulty they were able to get it hooked up again in the other arm. Today, it is her ability to talk again. It is not like last time when she had the symptoms of a stroke, and seemed out of touch. She is very much aware of what is being said and done, and can shake or nod her head a little, and moan a little louder for emphasis when she wants to say no. She started moaning nonstop in her sleep last night.
1 PM
Doctors were just here for a chat with Mom and Dad and I. Things really took a turn for the worse this morning. Penny was in an enormous amount of discomfort and pain this morning when the nurses had to move her around in bed a little. And they were being very gentle.
They have increased and added to her medication to keep her comfortable. They can go further with it, to make sure she is not awake at all, but she seems unconscious and unaware as it is already.
Her biggest fear of dying, in fact the only fear she felt that I know of is that she would not be able to breathe and would be conscious of that. Awake and suffocating. Even before she was sick she wouldn’t stick her head under water when we were swimming. She is having a great deal of difficulty with her breathing now, and they can’t fix that, but they can fix the awareness and awake part.
She lost a lot today.
Yesterday at this time she was teasing the doctor and I with her wit and humor. The doctor and I walked into the room just after the IV team left and were a little confused at first when we were looking at Penny and realized that she had two IV sites hooked up but they were not attached to anything on the IV pole. We both looked at Penny in confusion, and she smiled and said, ’gotchya’ or ‘got ya’. She knew what was going on, we didn’t. Nurse came in behind us and hooked it up.
10PM
You were right Christopher. It has been much easier writing this blog than having to repeat myself several times when someone inquires about Penny. Most of the people we know and care about read it. In that regard it has been a godsend because I start crying every time I have to talk about her. I cry all the time while I am writing this too, but at least I didn’t have to talk.
I can’t continue to write about it anymore either.
Mom and Dad are planning a memorial service for Penny. When that time comes, and for those of you who may want to join us in collectively saying farewell to Penny, I will post the details on here regarding when and where.
With that exception, this will be the last post in Penny’s blog.
Thank you all again for your kind messages and support.
To the staff at Grey Nun’s Hospital, and especially the staff in Palliative Care, thank you all so very much for everything you did for Penny during our stay with you.
Michael
Sat down to write this morning and I can’t remember much about Saturday other than Tanya spent the afternoon with us. A doctor came in for an hour or so to chat with Penny and Tanya and I, and Penny made some unusual observations about how she perceived things now. Where she is, where she is going.
I doubt that either of us will ever forget it.
Sunday was a very quiet day and the past couple of nights have been easy on Penny.
I read some of the comments and emails this morning, and thought I might respond to a couple of things.
Penny’s bed, for starters, is a computerized air bed that frequently re-adjusts automatically. I don’t think they have anything better than this. We purchased a dense foam topper like the one Penny had at home for the bed, and that seemed to help a lot. There is nothing else we could possibly do to make it more comfortable for her other than to just get her out of the damn thing once in a while. But she can’t.
And yes, typing this blog for her was very difficult at first. I have not been to work for 2 or 3 weeks now though, and have been living in the hospital room with Penny for the past month. So I did have a lot of time on my hands. I have a cot that I push up against her bed and sleep half on cot, half on Penny’s bed most of the time. The laptop has web access on the phone line in her room, so I can sit here beside her while I am typing this. Having her here beside me while I am typing makes it a lot easier.
It seems lately that Penny has been losing something on a daily basis. Her ability to get out of bed, her vision, the hot tub. Yesterday it was her IV, but with some difficulty they were able to get it hooked up again in the other arm. Today, it is her ability to talk again. It is not like last time when she had the symptoms of a stroke, and seemed out of touch. She is very much aware of what is being said and done, and can shake or nod her head a little, and moan a little louder for emphasis when she wants to say no. She started moaning nonstop in her sleep last night.
1 PM
Doctors were just here for a chat with Mom and Dad and I. Things really took a turn for the worse this morning. Penny was in an enormous amount of discomfort and pain this morning when the nurses had to move her around in bed a little. And they were being very gentle.
They have increased and added to her medication to keep her comfortable. They can go further with it, to make sure she is not awake at all, but she seems unconscious and unaware as it is already.
Her biggest fear of dying, in fact the only fear she felt that I know of is that she would not be able to breathe and would be conscious of that. Awake and suffocating. Even before she was sick she wouldn’t stick her head under water when we were swimming. She is having a great deal of difficulty with her breathing now, and they can’t fix that, but they can fix the awareness and awake part.
She lost a lot today.
Yesterday at this time she was teasing the doctor and I with her wit and humor. The doctor and I walked into the room just after the IV team left and were a little confused at first when we were looking at Penny and realized that she had two IV sites hooked up but they were not attached to anything on the IV pole. We both looked at Penny in confusion, and she smiled and said, ’gotchya’ or ‘got ya’. She knew what was going on, we didn’t. Nurse came in behind us and hooked it up.
10PM
You were right Christopher. It has been much easier writing this blog than having to repeat myself several times when someone inquires about Penny. Most of the people we know and care about read it. In that regard it has been a godsend because I start crying every time I have to talk about her. I cry all the time while I am writing this too, but at least I didn’t have to talk.
I can’t continue to write about it anymore either.
Mom and Dad are planning a memorial service for Penny. When that time comes, and for those of you who may want to join us in collectively saying farewell to Penny, I will post the details on here regarding when and where.
With that exception, this will be the last post in Penny’s blog.
Thank you all again for your kind messages and support.
To the staff at Grey Nun’s Hospital, and especially the staff in Palliative Care, thank you all so very much for everything you did for Penny during our stay with you.
Michael
Saturday, October 21, 2006
Saturday, October 21, 2006
1:30 AM
Thursday night was awful, again. Having a real tough time finding a comfortable position. Spent most of the night sitting up, or repositioning. Made it through the day Friday with a breakthrough med because she is having more abdominal pain.
Sleeping comfortably at the moment. Mostly because she just got out of the hot tub again. Another hour long plus floating session.
Paula came up tonight to visit and gave me a hand to get Penny down to the tub, and then back to bed and tucked in.
That may have been Penny’s last hot tub, unfortunately. They are moving the entire palliative care unit downstairs to renovate up here starting Wednesday, and there is no tub on the unit we are moving to. The renovations will take 6 to 8 weeks. She was upset to learn that. The hot tub has been her only reprieve, other than sleep, from the constant discomfort of being stuck in bed.
This afternoon she lost the ability to focus clearly. Having trouble making out faces unless you get quite close to her. That persisted until bedtime.
And if losing the hot tub, and her vision wasn’t enough, she is also having difficulty now drawing fluids through a straw. A very short straw. Just a few sips and she is out of breath.
Penny just woke up and we sat up for a while. Her breathing is so raspy that I can feel it vibrate right through me when she leans on me to sit up in bed. She started taking some meds for that today. Sitting isn’t helping much tonight though, so she is calling for breakthrough meds again right now. That’s twice today.
That is not a good sign.
She was inserting one or two word punch lines into the conversation we had with Paula tonight. There is nothing wrong with her sense of humor. And she still manages a smile for everyone that comes to the room to see her. Doctors, nurses, visitors. It is a little crooked sometimes because she is losing some control of her facial muscles, but she is still smiling. She still says thank you for every little thing you do for her, even though it requires so much effort for her to speak at all.
Michael
Thursday night was awful, again. Having a real tough time finding a comfortable position. Spent most of the night sitting up, or repositioning. Made it through the day Friday with a breakthrough med because she is having more abdominal pain.
Sleeping comfortably at the moment. Mostly because she just got out of the hot tub again. Another hour long plus floating session.
Paula came up tonight to visit and gave me a hand to get Penny down to the tub, and then back to bed and tucked in.
That may have been Penny’s last hot tub, unfortunately. They are moving the entire palliative care unit downstairs to renovate up here starting Wednesday, and there is no tub on the unit we are moving to. The renovations will take 6 to 8 weeks. She was upset to learn that. The hot tub has been her only reprieve, other than sleep, from the constant discomfort of being stuck in bed.
This afternoon she lost the ability to focus clearly. Having trouble making out faces unless you get quite close to her. That persisted until bedtime.
And if losing the hot tub, and her vision wasn’t enough, she is also having difficulty now drawing fluids through a straw. A very short straw. Just a few sips and she is out of breath.
Penny just woke up and we sat up for a while. Her breathing is so raspy that I can feel it vibrate right through me when she leans on me to sit up in bed. She started taking some meds for that today. Sitting isn’t helping much tonight though, so she is calling for breakthrough meds again right now. That’s twice today.
That is not a good sign.
She was inserting one or two word punch lines into the conversation we had with Paula tonight. There is nothing wrong with her sense of humor. And she still manages a smile for everyone that comes to the room to see her. Doctors, nurses, visitors. It is a little crooked sometimes because she is losing some control of her facial muscles, but she is still smiling. She still says thank you for every little thing you do for her, even though it requires so much effort for her to speak at all.
Michael
Friday, October 20, 2006
Friday, October 20, 2006
Friday, October 13, 2006
Good day, bad day, good day, worse day.
Penny slept well all night Wednesday after the tub, and when she woke up Thursday morning she smiled at me and said, ‘I have some plans.’
She wanted to get out of here for a couple of days. Go home for a visit, book a luxurious hotel room with a jet tub for two. Mostly just get out of here for a while.
By Thursday afternoon, she was experiencing side effects from the drugs that included shaking all over uncontrollably, unable to speak, feet curled up and unable to straighten them. And that lasted until almost lunchtime Saturday. The last thing she said on Thursday was to the doctor, and that was to refuse any more tests or medications that would prolong this struggle. From Thursday lunchtime until Saturday afternoon she behaved as though she had suffered a stroke, unable to speak.
Sunday, October 15, 2006
Slept all day today. Was up at 5 am for a little while, and then slept the day away.
She is not able to get out of bed anymore because of her feet and lack of strength. Tried last night but couldn’t make it. The shaking has stopped with the change in medication, and when she is awake, she is lucid and can talk a little, but she can’t get out of bed. Becoming bedridden so closely on the heels of her plans to escape this room for a couple of days has been hard on her. I don’t often see her upset, but this one upset her a great deal.
Monday, October 16, 2006
Don’t remember much of the weekend. Penny seems to be up all night, and then sleeps all day. Had another hot tub last night for an hour. She wants another one this morning. Just said she could stay in there all day.
It is getting harder for her to find a comfortable position. I guess that is why she likes the tub so much. She is also congested but does not have the strength or lungpower to cough enough to clear her lungs.
She has mentioned several times in the past few days that she thinks the cancer has also gone to her brain. And she may be right. The drugs have not been changed for several days, and a tumor would produce the stroke like symptoms. She just keeps mentioning that something does not feel right, in reference to her thinking and ability to communicate and move.
There has not been a problem with pain or nausea for quite some time now, but there does not seem to be any shortage of other problems to take their place.
Tuesday, October 17, 2006
Chocolate milk and jello for breakfast today. And then she said she wanted another hot tub this morning.
She is really liking this hot tub thing. She waited patiently until noon when Mom and Dad showed up and gave me a hand with it. She got to float for an hour and a half. The rosy cheeks are quite a contrast to the jaundiced pallor of a week and more ago.
Having a visit with Tanya, and struggling to stay awake at the moment.
Today was a pretty good day.
Friday, October 20, 2006
Friday again. Wednesday we were both sick and slept all day. Then she spent most of the night sitting up in bed leaning against me, just to be in a different position. Thursday was not a good day for Penny. Having a tough time finding a comfortable position and abdominal pain. Not bad enough to get breakthrough meds, just enough to make life miserable. She is finding it difficult to speak, and seldom says more than a couple of words at a time. She has lost a lot of muscle tone and does not even have the strength to even shift her position in bed. Some days are better than others, but she is feeling worse daily.
A few people have written lately and asked if they could come for a visit. Thank you for asking but we have requested that just immediate family be allowed to visit for the past few weeks.
Michael
Good day, bad day, good day, worse day.
Penny slept well all night Wednesday after the tub, and when she woke up Thursday morning she smiled at me and said, ‘I have some plans.’
She wanted to get out of here for a couple of days. Go home for a visit, book a luxurious hotel room with a jet tub for two. Mostly just get out of here for a while.
By Thursday afternoon, she was experiencing side effects from the drugs that included shaking all over uncontrollably, unable to speak, feet curled up and unable to straighten them. And that lasted until almost lunchtime Saturday. The last thing she said on Thursday was to the doctor, and that was to refuse any more tests or medications that would prolong this struggle. From Thursday lunchtime until Saturday afternoon she behaved as though she had suffered a stroke, unable to speak.
Sunday, October 15, 2006
Slept all day today. Was up at 5 am for a little while, and then slept the day away.
She is not able to get out of bed anymore because of her feet and lack of strength. Tried last night but couldn’t make it. The shaking has stopped with the change in medication, and when she is awake, she is lucid and can talk a little, but she can’t get out of bed. Becoming bedridden so closely on the heels of her plans to escape this room for a couple of days has been hard on her. I don’t often see her upset, but this one upset her a great deal.
Monday, October 16, 2006
Don’t remember much of the weekend. Penny seems to be up all night, and then sleeps all day. Had another hot tub last night for an hour. She wants another one this morning. Just said she could stay in there all day.
It is getting harder for her to find a comfortable position. I guess that is why she likes the tub so much. She is also congested but does not have the strength or lungpower to cough enough to clear her lungs.
She has mentioned several times in the past few days that she thinks the cancer has also gone to her brain. And she may be right. The drugs have not been changed for several days, and a tumor would produce the stroke like symptoms. She just keeps mentioning that something does not feel right, in reference to her thinking and ability to communicate and move.
There has not been a problem with pain or nausea for quite some time now, but there does not seem to be any shortage of other problems to take their place.
Tuesday, October 17, 2006
Chocolate milk and jello for breakfast today. And then she said she wanted another hot tub this morning.
She is really liking this hot tub thing. She waited patiently until noon when Mom and Dad showed up and gave me a hand with it. She got to float for an hour and a half. The rosy cheeks are quite a contrast to the jaundiced pallor of a week and more ago.
Having a visit with Tanya, and struggling to stay awake at the moment.
Today was a pretty good day.
Friday, October 20, 2006
Friday again. Wednesday we were both sick and slept all day. Then she spent most of the night sitting up in bed leaning against me, just to be in a different position. Thursday was not a good day for Penny. Having a tough time finding a comfortable position and abdominal pain. Not bad enough to get breakthrough meds, just enough to make life miserable. She is finding it difficult to speak, and seldom says more than a couple of words at a time. She has lost a lot of muscle tone and does not even have the strength to even shift her position in bed. Some days are better than others, but she is feeling worse daily.
A few people have written lately and asked if they could come for a visit. Thank you for asking but we have requested that just immediate family be allowed to visit for the past few weeks.
Michael
Wednesday, October 11, 2006
Wednesday, October 11, 2006
Wednesday, October 11, 2006
11:45PM
Penny had a real hot tub tonight.
Last time we tried this in the chair lift because the bed lift was out of commission and it was not all that comfy. This time she got horizontal and floated for two hours in a jet tub. Turned the lights out. Didn’t have any candles so we just left the door open a crack and closed the curtains but she enjoyed the evening nonetheless. Every twenty minutes or so I asked her if she had enough and she just smiled and shook her head a little. At nine o’clock we had to pull her out before she turned into a prune. That was without a doubt the most comfortable spot she has been in for quite some time. She has been sleeping soundly since.
The past couple of days and nights have been good. She has been up and talking for most of the time visitors have been here. She is drinking a little again, and is free of pain and nausea. One of the afternoon shift nurses brings fresh bread and other treats she bakes right here in the family room. Last night she brought some raisin bread and Penny had half a slice.
Almost all the needles are gone. There are only one or two on the go now, which makes things more comfy.
She is still really tired all the time, and getting a little shaky again so they are easing up on her meds, but today was a good day.
Michael
11:45PM
Penny had a real hot tub tonight.
Last time we tried this in the chair lift because the bed lift was out of commission and it was not all that comfy. This time she got horizontal and floated for two hours in a jet tub. Turned the lights out. Didn’t have any candles so we just left the door open a crack and closed the curtains but she enjoyed the evening nonetheless. Every twenty minutes or so I asked her if she had enough and she just smiled and shook her head a little. At nine o’clock we had to pull her out before she turned into a prune. That was without a doubt the most comfortable spot she has been in for quite some time. She has been sleeping soundly since.
The past couple of days and nights have been good. She has been up and talking for most of the time visitors have been here. She is drinking a little again, and is free of pain and nausea. One of the afternoon shift nurses brings fresh bread and other treats she bakes right here in the family room. Last night she brought some raisin bread and Penny had half a slice.
Almost all the needles are gone. There are only one or two on the go now, which makes things more comfy.
She is still really tired all the time, and getting a little shaky again so they are easing up on her meds, but today was a good day.
Michael
Monday, October 9, 2006
Monday, October 09, 2006
8PM
I am wishing so much so for the end to be here that I spent all last night praying that I would not wake up this morning. I lay here this evening thinking ‘who am I to make that decision’. That is God’s will. I have the pain well under control, so why the urgency? Perhaps it is because it is a long weekend and I am just anxious to move on to the next step, moving to hospice.
Penny
I am wishing so much so for the end to be here that I spent all last night praying that I would not wake up this morning. I lay here this evening thinking ‘who am I to make that decision’. That is God’s will. I have the pain well under control, so why the urgency? Perhaps it is because it is a long weekend and I am just anxious to move on to the next step, moving to hospice.
Penny
Sunday, October 8, 2006
Sunday, October 08, 2006
Sunday, October 08, 2006
Had a pretty good day today so far. Mom and Dad came for the morning, and Tanya and Pam came for the afternoon. Pam read both some of the comments in the blog and some of her emails to Penny.
I had a chat with Pen about what the doctors told Mom and Dad and I the other day, and Pam read the last blog to her. That was difficult, but she was pleased to hear it. She said their assessment was pretty close to what she feels like she has left in terms of time.
The pain and nausea have been under control now since Wed. or Thursday. She spends a lot of time sleeping and dreaming and for the most part feels comfortable. Once a day she has a few hours of good time, where she can have a lucid conversation with someone. Usually in the afternoons. She hasn’t lost her since of humor and everyone seems to have a chuckle about something while they are here.
Penny is very much at peace with herself.
Trish came and spent the night with Penny on Friday. She must have done a pretty good job of looking after her. Penny said that if I weren’t around, Trish would be her next choice for a nurse. Saturday, Stanley and I went shopping across the street and bought some stuff for Penny to wear. Some of the items were modified with scissors to accommodate IV lines, so she has a rather unusual looking wardrobe now.
Still better than hospital gowns.
We have a hot date tonight too. We booked the hot tub for 7 PM, and I am taking her for a long relaxing bubble bath and shampoo. So, she is resting up for it while I sit here typing. We have to fill in a little form here everyday that questions Penny about pain, nausea, depression, anxiety, feeling of wellbeing, appetite, and I can’t recall the rest right now. Her biggest complaint is the lack of energy. She just doesn’t have any at all. Hope she has enough left today for the tub. The nurses said that she would probably get a really good night sleep afterwards.
Michael
Had a pretty good day today so far. Mom and Dad came for the morning, and Tanya and Pam came for the afternoon. Pam read both some of the comments in the blog and some of her emails to Penny.
I had a chat with Pen about what the doctors told Mom and Dad and I the other day, and Pam read the last blog to her. That was difficult, but she was pleased to hear it. She said their assessment was pretty close to what she feels like she has left in terms of time.
The pain and nausea have been under control now since Wed. or Thursday. She spends a lot of time sleeping and dreaming and for the most part feels comfortable. Once a day she has a few hours of good time, where she can have a lucid conversation with someone. Usually in the afternoons. She hasn’t lost her since of humor and everyone seems to have a chuckle about something while they are here.
Penny is very much at peace with herself.
Trish came and spent the night with Penny on Friday. She must have done a pretty good job of looking after her. Penny said that if I weren’t around, Trish would be her next choice for a nurse. Saturday, Stanley and I went shopping across the street and bought some stuff for Penny to wear. Some of the items were modified with scissors to accommodate IV lines, so she has a rather unusual looking wardrobe now.
Still better than hospital gowns.
We have a hot date tonight too. We booked the hot tub for 7 PM, and I am taking her for a long relaxing bubble bath and shampoo. So, she is resting up for it while I sit here typing. We have to fill in a little form here everyday that questions Penny about pain, nausea, depression, anxiety, feeling of wellbeing, appetite, and I can’t recall the rest right now. Her biggest complaint is the lack of energy. She just doesn’t have any at all. Hope she has enough left today for the tub. The nurses said that she would probably get a really good night sleep afterwards.
Michael
Thursday, October 5, 2006
October 5
Thursday, October 05, 2006
3:00 AM
Tuesday and Wednesday were very difficult for Penny, and today is not off to a good start.
Changes made to her pain meds did not work out very well for her the past couple of days, but it seems to be getting better since they switched her over again at midnight. The nausea is still a problem, and for the past twelve hours we have been working around almost hourly bouts of diarrhea. That was an especially long night.
Up until now, Penny was very coherent, and could speak clearly during the brief periods when she was awake. For the past 24 hours and more, she looks and sounds like she is very much under the influence of drugs. She is just a little out of touch with reality.
9:00PM
Penny is feeling much better this evening. Busy day for visitors today too. Mom and Dad, Pam, Stan, Dennis, Paula, Peter, Julie, Tanya, Jesse, Trish and me. Paula read some of the comments from her blog to her, and I read some of her email to her. She is up and watching survivor right now. First time I have seen her look at a TV for 3 weeks or so. Tanya and Trish were the last ones here, and had the best visit with Pen because she seemed to improve continuously as the day wore on.
Midnight Thursday
There is no comparison between tonight and last night. Sat up and watched the whole TV program, then sat up with me until 10:30 watching the full moon rise, and having a good chat. She seems to be adjusting to the new medication well, with the pain under control, and very little nausea this evening and no diarrhea. She got upset for a while because she misplaced her wedding band. She had tried to give it to me to wear yesterday, and I suggested it still looked better on her. The nurse and I looked everywhere in the room for quite a while and couldn’t find it. We had almost given up and decided that maybe it left the room in the laundry when I had one last look and found it on the floor under the radiator in the corner of the room.
I slipped it back on her finger, but Penny has lost so much weight that it won’t stay on. She was quite relieved to see it and insisted I put it on and went straight to sleep.
This has been a good evening for us, all things considered. It has been a great evening compared to some that we have had recently.
Mom and Dad and I had a talk with the two doctors monitoring Penny this morning. They told us what to expect based on their experience with patients in a similar condition. I could sum the whole conversation up by saying that it is almost time to say goodbye to Penny. The Doctors summed it up by suggesting that if there is anyone Penny would like to visit with, then the next few days would be a good time to do it. I won’t go into the details they provided. It is hard enough typing this as it is.
I didn’t share the details of the conversation with the doctors with Penny today. I don’t know if anybody else did either. I think I will just ask her tomorrow if there is anyone she would like to visit with that she has not seen lately, and leave it at that.
Michael
3:00 AM
Tuesday and Wednesday were very difficult for Penny, and today is not off to a good start.
Changes made to her pain meds did not work out very well for her the past couple of days, but it seems to be getting better since they switched her over again at midnight. The nausea is still a problem, and for the past twelve hours we have been working around almost hourly bouts of diarrhea. That was an especially long night.
Up until now, Penny was very coherent, and could speak clearly during the brief periods when she was awake. For the past 24 hours and more, she looks and sounds like she is very much under the influence of drugs. She is just a little out of touch with reality.
9:00PM
Penny is feeling much better this evening. Busy day for visitors today too. Mom and Dad, Pam, Stan, Dennis, Paula, Peter, Julie, Tanya, Jesse, Trish and me. Paula read some of the comments from her blog to her, and I read some of her email to her. She is up and watching survivor right now. First time I have seen her look at a TV for 3 weeks or so. Tanya and Trish were the last ones here, and had the best visit with Pen because she seemed to improve continuously as the day wore on.
Midnight Thursday
There is no comparison between tonight and last night. Sat up and watched the whole TV program, then sat up with me until 10:30 watching the full moon rise, and having a good chat. She seems to be adjusting to the new medication well, with the pain under control, and very little nausea this evening and no diarrhea. She got upset for a while because she misplaced her wedding band. She had tried to give it to me to wear yesterday, and I suggested it still looked better on her. The nurse and I looked everywhere in the room for quite a while and couldn’t find it. We had almost given up and decided that maybe it left the room in the laundry when I had one last look and found it on the floor under the radiator in the corner of the room.
I slipped it back on her finger, but Penny has lost so much weight that it won’t stay on. She was quite relieved to see it and insisted I put it on and went straight to sleep.
This has been a good evening for us, all things considered. It has been a great evening compared to some that we have had recently.
Mom and Dad and I had a talk with the two doctors monitoring Penny this morning. They told us what to expect based on their experience with patients in a similar condition. I could sum the whole conversation up by saying that it is almost time to say goodbye to Penny. The Doctors summed it up by suggesting that if there is anyone Penny would like to visit with, then the next few days would be a good time to do it. I won’t go into the details they provided. It is hard enough typing this as it is.
I didn’t share the details of the conversation with the doctors with Penny today. I don’t know if anybody else did either. I think I will just ask her tomorrow if there is anyone she would like to visit with that she has not seen lately, and leave it at that.
Michael
Monday, October 2, 2006
Monday, October 02, 2006
Sunday, October 01, 2006
10:AM
Just read Penny’s blog to her. She smiled at almost 50.
The struggle with the nausea that got so much worse yesterday is still a problem. She had a really tough night with it again. They have her on three different medications for nausea, and she is still sick often, as in having the dry heaves. She has not had even a sip of water for the past few days. Tried a teaspoon of apple juice this morning, but that came back up shortly afterwards, painfully. Just a tiny piece of ice every few hours is all she can tolerate. But usually she is sleeping and dreaming. One of the side effects of the drugs is vivid dreams, a lot of them. Pen said she has only had a couple of bad ones, mostly good ones
10:00 PM
I came back after supper to spend the night with Penny. The nights seem to be hardest and she wanted some company. Wish she had a bigger bed so I could jump in and snuggle.
I just asked her if she wanted to put anything in her blog, and she said no, that I could do what I want with it now. So I asked her if I could just leave it alone for a while. She said that was fine. I asked her if I could leave it alone permanently, and let it be done. She said that was okay too.
So, this will be the last update.
Midnight
Penny just got up and chatted for a bit. I told her what I wrote in the blog and she said no way, this is not the last update. She did look and sound a little too comfy last time I was talking to her.
The past week has been especially difficult, and Penny had asked that the only visitors be immediate family. She mentioned today though, that perhaps when she gets moved into hospice it would be okay to have a few other people over who want to come for a short visit.
Monday 9:00 PM
When I arrived at the hospital this evening, Penny was in good spirits. She read her card from Annie, and stayed up to chat. She asked me to mention that she is being moved to an acute palliative care unit here in the same hospital tomorrow. She seemed a little excited about moving there, after talking to the unit doctor. She also said the nausea was not as frequent or bothersome today, and the pain is being managed quite well. Whatever else they have started giving her must be working. When I counted tonight, she had a total of 8 needles, in her abdomen and upper legs and the IV in her hand.
It was a better day, except for all the needles.
Michael
10:AM
Just read Penny’s blog to her. She smiled at almost 50.
The struggle with the nausea that got so much worse yesterday is still a problem. She had a really tough night with it again. They have her on three different medications for nausea, and she is still sick often, as in having the dry heaves. She has not had even a sip of water for the past few days. Tried a teaspoon of apple juice this morning, but that came back up shortly afterwards, painfully. Just a tiny piece of ice every few hours is all she can tolerate. But usually she is sleeping and dreaming. One of the side effects of the drugs is vivid dreams, a lot of them. Pen said she has only had a couple of bad ones, mostly good ones
10:00 PM
I came back after supper to spend the night with Penny. The nights seem to be hardest and she wanted some company. Wish she had a bigger bed so I could jump in and snuggle.
I just asked her if she wanted to put anything in her blog, and she said no, that I could do what I want with it now. So I asked her if I could just leave it alone for a while. She said that was fine. I asked her if I could leave it alone permanently, and let it be done. She said that was okay too.
So, this will be the last update.
Midnight
Penny just got up and chatted for a bit. I told her what I wrote in the blog and she said no way, this is not the last update. She did look and sound a little too comfy last time I was talking to her.
The past week has been especially difficult, and Penny had asked that the only visitors be immediate family. She mentioned today though, that perhaps when she gets moved into hospice it would be okay to have a few other people over who want to come for a short visit.
Monday 9:00 PM
When I arrived at the hospital this evening, Penny was in good spirits. She read her card from Annie, and stayed up to chat. She asked me to mention that she is being moved to an acute palliative care unit here in the same hospital tomorrow. She seemed a little excited about moving there, after talking to the unit doctor. She also said the nausea was not as frequent or bothersome today, and the pain is being managed quite well. Whatever else they have started giving her must be working. When I counted tonight, she had a total of 8 needles, in her abdomen and upper legs and the IV in her hand.
It was a better day, except for all the needles.
Michael
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